Church Crawl - Part 5: The United Church

On this special Sunday our adventure took us to the United Church.

With a name like "The United Church" I had expected a very generic churchgoing experience. If there was such a thing as a generic religion.

I was wrong. It was odd.

The United Church

It all began very normal. The building was organized much like the Presbyterian's - everyone is seated like they would at Parliament. Naturally, with all churches with balconies, we had to get a prime spot. One of the places you could snipe anybody in the place from. Benito ( pioneer in Italian Fashion ) and I didn't expect the show we were about to receive.

The first very original thing we noticed about this church was its use of a rear projection screen. Looking around the room, it was obvious that any other kind of projection system would have been impractical. Neat stuff anyways.

It started out like quite a few churches do - a bunch of little bastards run up to the front row to hear a short story about Jesus/God/etc before they are sent off to Sunday school to glue their fingers together or something. I believe the person leading the story said aloud "God is good, all the time". A phrase the congregation repeated.

Then began the real deal talk from the pastor. The church had a special Emily Carr exhibit on the Tuesday that they were promoting. The large majority of the service was extracted from Emily Carr's writings about God and related activities.

It was weird. The pastor would mention a few things about Emily and the bible, and then he would insert an interlude ("She believed in God, and trees, as described in her writings...") where he would throw the congregation's attention to his co-anchor at a podium that would read an excerpt of her writings.

In the middle of the service, a singer sang an operatic version of Richard Wagner's Traume while pictures of Emily's art was shown.

The closest description of the service would be an orgy of A&E's Biography, a funeral service and a Shakespearean soliloquy.

When the event came to an end, the singers sang an operatic version of "The Whole World in His Hands" while collection was going around.

Then we walked through a maze of hallways to reach the gym where the coffee was. Stood around, ate cookies and talked to people.

There was no hellfire. No wrath of God. Just a shitload of Emily Carr.

The whole thing kind of gave me the feeling they thought they were in the entertainment business. Pitch in a few bucks every Sunday and we'll tell you a cool story.

But maybe that's all churches really are. Entertainment.

Comments...

Devon -

First comment!!!

Brian - hmmm

Yup, sounds about right. The only problem I have with the church being reduced to entertainment is, why bother. I can be entertained in any other myriad of ways. Most of them much more fascinating.

sheldong - entertainment

But if a church isn't entertaining, what is it doing? Fearmongering? (Be Good or Die! etc) Hammering in their specific interpretation of the bible? Couldn't people read it themselves and make what they will of it on their own? It reminds me of being read to in primary school.

But beyond entertainment, it seems to provide a ready-made social group. So I think people stick around for the show, take maybe half of it in while staring at the floor then hang out with all the other churchgoers afterwards. Like the movies, except less people are paying attention.

Leo - ...

So if university isn't entertaining, what is it doing? Fearmongering? (Work hard or fail!) Hammering in their specific interpretation of the world? Couldn't people read the books themselves? Et cetera ad nauseam

Just like you need other people and instructors to efficiently learn academic material, you need the same to efficiently learn the teachings of God and his cronies. The social group is a side effect; just like any other special interest group that meets to discuss their mutual interest and then benefit socially in the process.

Brian -

I think you have it partly right. For me at least, church is definately somewhere I go where people who are smarter or at least know more than me will be. But the social bit is also important and in fact strongly encouraged in the bible. Something to do with how we forget stuff so easily. I mean why do you honestly think they have such problems teaching fractions in high school. It takes them 5 bloody years to get it all out.

With the social thing though the bible talks quite a lot about the church not really being the building or location but rather the people that compose it. So I guess whenever a couple of 'christians' get together theyre having church. Just don't tell that to the people with the really fancy buildings ;)


by the way your adder is works terribly.

sheldong - the university church

I like the idea of university being much like a church or religion.

Student s at university study books just the same as churchgoers would read the Bible.

Students are there to get some edumacation - as if to be closer to the gods of edumacation. The result is somewhat intangible, the effects of university being somewhat akin to the effects of church. Alumni, Elders. Bishops, tenured faculty.

Both organizations are hierarchal and demanding of respect - whatever the top dude says, happens. Shit rolls downhill.

In both institutions, many beliefs and theories are in constant flux. (How many flavours of Christianity are there?)

In both institutions, many beliefs and theories are VERY FUCKING SOLID, even if the evidence isn't all in yet.

Churches get in trouble for saying which things are morally correct.

Universi ties get in trouble for saying which things are politically correct.

Both institutions instill ideas into new recruits starting at a young age. (For an example of a card-carrying atheism-is-not-a-rel igion i-vote-the-same-way- as-ninety-percent-of -my-classmates churches-are-evil queen of university-inspired independent thought, see the "First comment" on this thread :)

Devon -

I don't vote the same way as 90% of my classmates. If there was that much agreement among voters we'd have to seriously reconsider our need for democracy. I should sue you for libel.

sheldong - school and democracy

There isn't agreement amoung voters across the entire population.

Howev er within a group with shared interests you are likely to find common political views.

So poll the MPA people. I'm guessing they are voting with you by a large majority, or voting against you in big way.

If its 50/50 I'll eat my hat

Good luck with the lawsuit. I'll be out of the country for a while anyways :)

Devon -

If they are voting against me in a big way then your original comment is STILL wrong. That's right, run away to Europe, you coward.

Merriman - Devon

Sue sheldon when he's out of the country. If he can't respond in the time limit, you win by default.

...

B ut just so you know, 90% of your classmates would sue. So go against the grain or you'll be tool. That's right, a tool.

Merriman - Devon

But if you don't, ... you'll be cool. That's right, cool.

sheldong - lawsuit

would she win by default?

I don't think so. But if she would, that has incredibly ridiculous. I think they'd be obligated to ask Germany / Croatia/ Austria to deport my ass.

Devon -

Well maybe I'll sue YOU merriman for being a big WEENIE! You big weenie.

Devon -

I mean, meanie. You big meanie.

Merriman - Dong

You have a certain time period to respond. If you're on vacation or something, and they file ... you're fucked. That's why you never talk to your ex-wife. You ask her to water your plants while you go on vacation, you come back and she has your house, kids, truck and dog.


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