Critique of Christianity

It stands that we should be able to discuss our religions as we would any political party, industry or company.

Religion is very often politically motivated, and does offer many products and services. To some extent religion can be described as dealing in the market of beliefs. Its products are Gods, martyrs and prophets. Its services are rightly described, as services.

This article may make several mad. It was not my intention. It is important to remember it is hard to voice an opinion without treading on a few toes, and that you may have beliefs I would find offensive. Being silent about a topic may equate to being diplomatic, but it would be at the expense of truth, consistency and honesty.

As usual, you are able to anonymously outline your opinions below.

What I liked about Christianity

• God
  What's not to love about a fatherly figure that can answer all your questions?
  
  Who knows? God knows. Problem solved.
  
  
• Heaven
  So, after we die, we go to a place that is cooler than anything you can imagine.
  
  Yes, cooler than being reincarnated as a lesbian in a vat of whip cream sharing the day with every bi-curious female ever employed by Hugh Hefner.
  
  So much cooler than that, that you'd be willing to give up pornography during this life for it.
  
  
• Hell
  Yes, Hell is awesome.
  
  Not because you are going to go there, but basically everyone that is an asshole will go there.
  
  The asshole used car salesman that screwed you over, the asshole that ran Enron and whatever asshole you can think of is most likely going to hell.
  
  But, what if I'm an asshole? That doesn't matter. Just start repenting and you'll be fine.
  
  
• Jesus
  What a great guy. Honestly.
  
  Goes around curing people, leading people to eternal salvation, and just generally saying a lot of great things that make you think.
  
  He is even crucified and isn't extremely pissed about it. He died FOR YOUR SALVATION.
  
  What kind of ignoramus would turn down such a selfless gift? Heartless cold people, that's who!
  
  
• All the Good that Christians do
  Land in any city in North America, and you'll find a Christian in some soup kitchen or some sort of outreach group.
  
  If the local church isn't doing that, it's likely off in some crazy African country doing something commendable. If doing a bit of conversion while they're at it.
  
  
• The Social Group
  Churches are full of nice people. On Sundays, they show their best manners and dress quite nicely.
  
  At a church on Sunday, nobody will tell you to eat shit. Nobody will jack your wallet.
  
  What is more likely is they will offer to feed you or at the very least, give you coffee.
  
  How great is that?
  
  On top of that, if you belong to a church of any size, they likely have locations all across the country.
  
  The church basically operates like a chain of Denny's that is only open on Sundays and only nice people are allowed in.
  
  
• The Cheapest Form of Psychotherapy Available
  Walk in, completely voluntary donation, walk out cheerful.
  
  You can't do that anywhere else, unless you think paying at Tim Horton's is voluntary.

Why all that I liked didn't matter

• God raises more questions than he answers
  The universe is pretty amazing. So amazing, that it is hard to buy the answer "It all just happened". So, we say God made it happen.
  
  But it doesn't really answer anything, as if the universe needed a creator, it would be implying that everything needs a creator.
  
  Now then, who created the creator? "Nobody".
  
  Well, if the creator doesn't need a creator, then we've already blown away the reason we state that God made it happen.
  
  Again, if something of amazing complexity needs a creator, then a complex creator does as well.
  
  
• The Lost Promise of Heaven & Hell
  Nobody that believes in Heaven & Hell actually thinks they are going to Hell. If you thought for a moment that Christian doctrines irreversibly condemn you to Hell, then you would either simply cease to be Christian or go absolutely insane with grief.
  
  And Hell inarguably exists if Heaven does. What exists without an opposite? Even if Hell did not exist as the furnace of our imaginations, it would then exist simply as inadmission to Heaven and eternal salvation. Hell could be burning eternally, or it could be like not getting in to an exclusive club. Either way, it would exist in some form - otherwise the atheists would receive eternal salvation, which wouldn't make sense.
  
  So, if you're a Christian and are not insane, then you believe chances are good that you'll get into Heaven.
  
  But look around at your friends. The Buddhist, the Jew, the dude in another flavour of Christianity and all the nice people you've met that aren't aware just what is at stake.
  
  When you get Fed-Exed to the paradise in the clouds, there is no guarantee that everybody you like will meet you there.
  
  If this is the case, is it a paradise at that point? Life on the clouds, without those you weren't able to convert?
  
  Now I've heard different things from devout Christians on the matter, who's arguments in a nutshell are "It's God's will" and "He will explain everything, all will be right, trust his judgment that the good will be saved". This amounts to a special clause that may or may not let your friends in depending on some unknown criteria.
  
  While my disembodied spirit might not have any problem with God's judgment and condemnation, it would then lead one to believe that their spirit is of a completely different personality than that you exhibit amongst the living. The rationale is that God has drugged you into seeing everything he has done is right.
  
  It is the most likely case, as after feeding me a few shots of Tequila you could probably convince me that the Earth is flat and Jews are evil.
  
  
• Jesus ?
  What doesn't Jesus have going for him? He did many selfless acts, he could perform miracles and every word he spoke was profound.
  
  To top it all off, he died young in unjust and sad circumstances. When you think about it, the story molds those of Princess Diana, Confucius, Martin Luther King, JFK and pretty much all the protagonists of history plus a lot of stuff about a loving God thrown in.
  
  It's just so appealing, it's either true and Godlike or manufactured literature.
  
  Take Paul of Tarsus for example. Paul is essentially the origin of the New Testament, as the earliest Christian writings are attributed to him. If you look at the Gospel of Mark and Matthew, which in religious circles are works attributed to disciples of Jesus, did not show up until 70 CE. All the Gospels effectively show up after Paul's death.
  
  The earliest Christian writings remain in Paul's hands. The odd thing is, Paul never met Jesus. Jesus merely appeared to him in a vision. Luke, another great contributor to the New Testament, was simply Paul's companion.
  
  The Gospels essentially have about 40 years of oral history. It is not really debatable as it would be hard to imagine every early Christian being literate let alone a proficient wordsmith.
  
  At this point, there is no guarantees that all the Gospels aren't absolutely full of purple monkey dishwasher even though its the very first written record of what actually happened.
  
  There were no Roman scribes writing stuff down and relaying how fantastic this Jesus guy was back to the Emperor. On one hand, we have a book that showed up decades later, and on the other we have a guy saw Jesus in a vision. The story of Jesus has similarities to that of Dionysus and Mithras as well as many other characters labelled "mythology". This prior art would lead us to question the credibility of a guy that sees dead people.
  
  But for the sake of a hypothetical argument, let's assume the existence of Jesus is true.
  
  There is no evidence to show that the Romans didn't believe Jesus was what we believe L. Ron Hubbard to be today. How can one be sure we are not following yesterday's Scientology?
  
  There is still absolutely no evidence for the miracles or all the things Jesus claimed to be. When debating fashionable bullshit like Scientology, Kabbalah or the Raelians, Christianity has zero rational footing on which to stand.
  
  If you're satisfied with being no more provably correct than Tom Cruise, that's fine.
  
  But for humanity's sake do not come to the table with "intelligent" design pseudoscience, for it is the slippery slope to even more retarded claims.
  
  
• The Myth of Friendly Christians
  This is something that continues in our language every day. It is smashed into our heads.
  
  The "Good, God-fearing man" versus the "immoral godless communist". Or, if you're Ann Coulter or her partner in retardation Dinesh D'Souza, the "immoral godless liberal".
  
  You've probably read the title and assumed that this is trying to state that Christians are generally evil. No.
  
  The statement is that Christian people may be Christian, but that does not mean that friendly people are necessarily Christian.
  
  Seems obvious, but for some reason needs restating. Those that are friendly because they are Christian have nothing to brag about considering those that would be innately kind.
  
  Now, if you don't believe someone could possibly be innately kind, then it is a real wonder how you're alive. Many of your ancestors were godless heathens, pagans, and ignorant illiterates. Yet somehow they managed not to kill themselves long enough that your generation came to be.
  
  The best explanation for compassion from a scientific perspective is that reiterated by Richard Dawkins, where he states that our compassion to one another is nothing more than a glorious misfiring. Your compassion runtimes are actually meant for those of your own - that is to propagate your genes. If you weren't kind to your offspring, then you simply wouldn't have many to spread the evil name. When you are compassionate to those you share no bloodline with, it is a misfiring in the sense that you also have sex without the intention of procreation.
  
  Those that rely on "God-fearing" or fear of any kind, to be good, are no good at all.
  
  Those that are good and not fearful, are people of commendable conscience.
  
  
• The Not-So Social Group
  To not be a Christian means to throw away countless potential friends and support groups. However, not being a Muslim or a Jew does exactly the same thing.
  
  The fact of the matter is, just because religions are the more well known and vocal groups in society, does not mean you will find anything fulfilling there.
  
  Yes, you may form all the God cliques you want, but what will build lasting relationships is shared interests of a more tangible nature. Groups sharing concerns or interests in activities will have a devoted congregation with or without God. Just have a look at your local golf club.
  
  The prominence and political power of churches may make them the only show to go to in some areas, but that doesn't make it worth supporting.
  
  It's like a theatre that only shows Battlefield Earth, Waterworld and Children of Men. If people buy tickets, it doesn't mean any of these movies are worth seeing over and over again. It simply means everybody is bored out of their minds.
  
  To anyone that has read and understood the Bible, which would include anyone described as an interested Christian, how is any sermon not the most predictable thing on Earth?
  
  
• Saints as Shrinks
  Lots of alcoholics and other people struggling with life's many difficulties often turn to religion for answers. Alcoholics Anonymous' 12 steps invoke a higher power a number of times. This isn't a surprising fact - countless self help books and motivational speakers do exactly the same thing.
  
  The clinical approach is perceived as cold, unavailable or expensive.
  
  But is religion actually contributing or playing a zero-sum game?
  
  Sure, there may be an addict reading a copy of a Gideons bible in a hotel room that will kick the habit. But it's likely this fabled individual would have shed their vices anyways if they were motivated enough to read one of history's more driest literary pieces.
  
  It's also very likely that the individual already had exposure to Christian teachings - in North America, it would be likely the person in question would even have a religious parent.
  
  The religious upbringing could have had major negative effects on the the youth's socialization. This line of thought follows that American teenagers seem more likely to find themselves with alcohol poisoning than their German counterparts, and that homeschooled kids are generally weird.
  
  This argument relies on the strawman that is the odd ill-socialized God-paranoid child becoming somewhat of a black sheep.
  
  The points are quite valid, however, when the evidence supporting religion's helpful hand is nonexistent. One only needs to look at the days of prohibition vs legalization, secular democracies vs theocracies, or Bible-Belt America vs any other state or province to see the positive effects of having the church disappear. The idea that the creator compels recovery and prosperity is thoroughly debunked by every measure we have for society.
  
  The best argument the church has for their good deeds is largely anecdotal evidence given by converts. They will all tell you they "lived in darkness and despair" until they "saw the light". The funny thing is that apostates say the same thing. (Well, until you shoot them)

Now, we've cleared up all the subjective reasons why one wouldn't actually enjoy religion as much as other people. It may give us reason to leave the church - but a bunch of subjective gripes about the church would not give us any ground on which to denounce religious teachings. Read on.

The Lies

Christians lie all the time. Maybe if it were a commandment, "Thou shall not lie, nor embellish, for the sake of religion" then less of a marketing machine would be supported by the church. The cover of most Christian content ought to be "Caveat Lector"

Prayer in School
This is by far my favorite lie. "They took prayer out of schools!" Christians shout from the rooftops. From Columbine to Virginia Tech, there is undeniably a Christian that believes there just isn't enough prayer in schools.

Is this actually true? At first hearing it sounds like a terrible injustice. Have we no right to hold belief? But no, it is a lie. Students may pray at schools. God knows they aren't learning much, and can use the downtime to mumble to whatever God or imaginary friend a child may have.

What was rightly removed from schools was led prayer. And what a fantastic thing! I can think of nothing more disgusting than a child forced to pray to a God they do not believe in.

It is a decidedly gross assumption to say that any child is of the religion of their parents. The idea that a Catholic family produces Catholic kids is as perverse as believing that fascist families only produce fascist kids - for where is Germany, Italy and Spain then?

Even if a child produced the mental faculties to express that they were Catholic and understood what that was - it would still be an affront to their sensibilities to be led into protestant prayer!

Family Values
Come election time, somebody will make noise to do with family values. "George Bush protects family values!" or similar cheer.

But what does it mean?

Absolutely nothing.

My family's values aren't equivalent to your family's values. My family may be a bunch of granola eating hippies while your family might be a bunch of caviar licking old coots.

As a political slogan, the term "Family Values" is so incoherent, incomprehensible and such a NO-OP that those reiterating it deserve a slap.

Society is going to hell
This statement also masquerades as "Will the Cruelty ever end?" or "What is wrong with the kids today?"

The Church is apt to tell those born yesterday that society is sinful and degrading and irredeemable.

Obviously this nonsense is a harder sell to those that have lived through the Great Depression and World Wars. We live much better today than ever before. People are more courteous, compassionate and educated than ever before.

This is not to say the world is fine, but, goddamn it, life is improving.

Miracles
If you flip the page of doom in the Christian cookbook there will inevitably be a recipe for miracles.

As if to counteract all the blame they put on worldly sin, they include miraculous deeds. For, as the marketing alludes to, all good can be attributed to God instead of coincidence and man.

Essentially, there is an all powerful guy in the clouds that performs miracles on a whim. According to the Bible, he did it every other week.

Modern miracles are absolutely unheard of, as if any single one of them had undeniable proof them that proof would also undeniably prove God, in which case one would not brave questioning religion. Maybe modern miracles do not occur because God is apathetic, asleep or dead?

Yet that does not fly, as an all-powerful being could awake and revive itself if it willed it. The likely answer that would not include proving or disproving a creator would be that humans simply understand. We no longer see miracles everywhere, just as we no longer depend on witchdoctors.

It also remains that any force capable of good and miracles is also capable of evil and suffering.

Attributing what you subjectively see as good to God and not that which you see as evil would be making God conform to your morality, which Christians claim the "godless" do.

Lying Jesus, CEO of God, Inc
What it seems to all boil down to is Christianity is operated by a bunch of vacuum cleaner salespeople.

Christianity is a propaganda train not because it is moral to be a politician or doomsayer, but because it is profitable.

Money talks. Buildings need heat and preachers need food. Who would buy a product if you were told you didn't need it, or that it wouldn't save the world?

If you are a Christian, it is your job to solve this problem. Refuse your support until Churches actually be honest with you and others. Speak up for what is right instead of tolerating what you know to be untruthful propaganda or empty language.

Send God back for a refund.