Marriage is Gay!

And by "gay" I mean "happy", even though nobody has used that definition since 1950. Anyways it turns out the biggest non-problem in Canada is gay marriage. It goes to show how effective gay activists are. The whole situation is hilarious.

First of all, its making marriage seem like a huge deal. And I guess it would be a big event in one's life, but like any other event, it is extremely overhyped. Remember graduation? It was preceded by an entire year of baseless excitement. The day after the big party was spent wondering about the next school year or where to find a job. I'm sure your first steps would have played out in a similar way, thinking to yourself, "i made all this effort, now where the fuck was i going to go?". Explains why babies fall on their ass so much.

A lot of people think that marriage changes everything, but does anybody honestly think your life would change between the day before and the day after the wedding? Why does the government need to rubber stamp your relationship? Does that change anything? Do you suddenly become a good and faithful person?

It's not like marriage is very binding at all. A crazy percentage of marriages end in divorce anyways. Nowadays, the difference between a wife and a girlfriend is basically nonexistent beyond that it is less socially acceptable to have kids with your girlfriend. I'm going to make my own marriage certificate with a few sparkle crayons, and it will have as much meaning as whatever papers the priest or state would supply. (The pre-nup would have definitely been written by a lawyer, however) So why does anybody care telling the government who you're sleeping with? No sane person cares about government certified love. It's because of tax breaks. Benefits. Nothing else. Money talks. Always.

Which brings us to another topic. Why the hell is the government so invested in the word "marriage"? It seems to stir up a lot of emotions in religious groups, yet the last time I checked the government of Canada was trying to be secular. An easy fix would be to call gay marriages "civil unions" to appease the churches, yet at the same time give gays the benefits they want. If the gay activists won't settle for that, then lets call each and every marriage a union. Instead of people saying "I'm married" they would say "I'm in a union" or "We're unionized". The jokes practically write themselves.

In any case, if something like this is the most pressing issue of the day, we're either doing pretty good as a country or too stupid to prioritize.