Separatism

No words can express the greatness of Charles de Gaulle. For those that don't know how swift this guy was, here is some brief history. De Gaulle was a french general during the second world war. The Germans soon showed him how it's done, and he fled to London to become "leader of the Free French". After the mostly-anglophone armies cleaned up the western front, he was able to return to France a national hero. Saved from having to learn German at the end of a Luger, in 1967 he was able to go to Montreal and shout "Vive le Québec libre". For some reason, Quebec needed liberating just like France did. Cause you know, Canada was a fascist dictatorship.

It's a shame that when north americans went to the battlefields in Europe with their guns pointed at Hitler, nobody thought to reserve some ammo for political leaders in other countries. Nobody thought that maybe Stalin, Charles de Gaulle and the British Royal Family could have used some lead medication. It would have saved us a lot of trouble.

Now, for some background everybody seems to be lacking, let's talk about Canada. It's impossible to talk about the separatist movement without knowing the numbers involved in the equation. For some perspective here's a comparison of Canada to California.

Canada
Area: 9,984,670 km²
Population: 32,040,300 (2004)
GDP: $1.056 trillion


California
Area: 404,298 km²
Population: 35,484,453 (2003)
GDP: $1.4 trillion


So let's stretch things a little bit and pretend Canada has as much sway in the world as the state of California. How much sense would it make for a subset of California to tell the rest of the United States to fuck off and that they'll handle their own affairs from now on? It would be a boon to nothing but the new bureaucracy. To believe a province of Canada alone would have any say in anything, is ridiculous.

But it seems as if it is something a lot of people Quebec want. A completely independent french-only state on the continent. Sure, the separatist movement is being quiet right now, but everyone has forgotten that in the 2 referendums held, the separatist movement only gained in numbers.

If they want to go, let them go. Sometimes you just can't explain things to people. People will want things no matter how nonsensical, may as well let them make the mistake and let them learn about it. The rest of Canada will be lacking in a little bit of pride, but the extra money kicking around would ensure that Quebec won't be missed for long.

But, if they really want to go here is the rules for separation. If another referendum is held, more than 50% of the adult population, not just voters that showed up, must say YES to leaving Canada. Like, what if only 5 people show up for the referendum party? The 3 separatists would beat up the other 2 guys and the rest of the people in the province would have to deal with the new separatist agenda.

Then, after the referendum, if the separatists win and Quebec really does want to become a sovereign nation, these are the terms:

• Quebec gets their share of the debt.


• The Feds are liable to give them any bills for any uncompleted projects they've started.


• Canada's army isn't Quebec's army. If Canada has to fend off the fascists, we send them the bill.


• The rest of Canada, except possibly New Brunswick, goes English-only or else. WestJet and Air Canada aren't expected to have service in French. Cereal boxes aren't expected to have the ingredients in French. We'd also take down the french signs in Vancouver Airport. I believe more Chinese than French is spoken in British Columbia anyways.


• Any native lands that wish to remain part of Canada, will remain part of Canada. If the French minority can just up and leave, the native minorities within that can up and stay. Or if the natives wanted to form their breakaway republic from a breakaway republic, let them. Cookie cutter the country.

After all this is settled, we all should wish Quebec the best in its nation building. Have fun employing all those new politicians, diplomats and other governmental garbage to represent and run the almighty new French state. It will be costly, but then again a happy Jacques Chirac might give you an extra $5 in next year's Christmas card.

On its own, Quebec will be infinitely prosperous. Just look at the other breakaway republics of the world. Hell, lets split the entire confederation up, and have everyone call us "The Former Canada", not unlike "The Former Soviet Union" and "The Former Yugoslavia". Once you have "The Former ..." in the title, we've joined an exclusive club like no other. The tourists will just be flooding in to see all the new borders and try to buy old Kalashnikovs.

People in Canada should be free. Therefore, Quebec and every other province should be free to do what it wants. People in this country have had the right to suck ass and be stupid since day 1. It is only depressing that so many people choose to exercise these rights, over and over again. Long live a free Quebec, free to shoot itself in the foot.

(Side note: its spelled "separate" and "separatism". "Separate" has 2 a's and 2 e's. Remember that or die. "Seperate" and "Separete" aren't words. If their appearance continues, I may have to stage a coup d'etat and enlist you all in a state run re-education program. Thank you. )