Stuporheroes

From time to time, I watch Justice League. Or Justice League Unlimited. Or Justice League Extreme. Justice League Fantabulous? Hell I don't know. There is a lot of super duper people dudes on the show that like to kick ass anyways.

The show is quite entertaining. During a typical episode, the bad guys will show up, in a slightly different team than last time. The bad guys don't get along well, so they can't manage to stay organized longer than one dastardly doomed to fail plan. Stupid bad guys! HA!

The bad guys proceed to set a trap for the Justice League or manage to wake up half the city trying to steal shit. The Justice League arrives.

Then the shit hits the fan. Cars fly, buildings crumble and innocent bystanders proceed to pee their pants in fear. It doesn't get any better than this!

A few seasons of the show later, I began seeing a pattern. Kids were repeatedly saved from speeding traffic by The Flash. People were continuously being saved from burning buildings by Superman over and over again. I could come to only one conclusion.

The Justice League are a bunch of selfish rejects looking for attention and Superman is a fucking moron.

Think of the resources available to the Justice League. You would have incredibly smart people with superpowers. Why would you be stuck saving people from their own infrastructure? Yes, infrastructure. How many times does someone get hit by a subway train? How often do people die in burning brick buildings with sprinkler installations?

Superman could allot a year to install train lines where there was superhighways, subways where there was busy intersections, and fire prevention goodies in every home on the planet. After that, his call-outs would be a quarter what they would have been. The caped jackass should really do the math.

The rest of us should probably do the math as well. Think about your environment, and think about how many people it kills every year.

It would seem that the only realistic superhero is Batman - a super rich guy that has practically limitless resources to build crime fighting gadgets. This guy doesn't utimately have the power to modify how the world works, yet works to anyways and deals with the situation as best as possible. Any of us fools could do that, if we weren't so damn apathetic.

Batman does indeed exist, except this version doesn't wear a suit and doesn't have billions in assets.

He simply gives a shit.

Comments...

leo - oh yeah

> Batman does indeed exist, except this version doesn't wear a suit and doesn't have billions in assets.

> He simply gives a shit.

Oh yeah, he also doesn't fight crime. Details, details.

Brian - Lest we forget

Ya, batman rocks. Any guy willing to dress all in black and scare the living crap out of people is basically a world hero. And I mean come on, he has pointy ears.

But let us not forget robin. That faithful, if slightly dim witted side kick. With comments that simply point out the obvious to the people in the audience too slow to pick up the story. Anecdotes like 'quick batman the bat-shark-repellent' as batman's legs are getting chewed of really bring out robin's colour. So I say every hero (does batman deserve the super prefix... he doesn't have any super powers) needs an idiot beside him to look good. Way go robin, hats off.

timmy the tooth -

ya way go robin, way go.

sheldong aren't you going to mexico or some shit? might wanna show them a bit of the super dong...

Merriman -

Jane Cobb > taco salad > Superman

kat - heh

I think everyone likes batman the best because he doesn't have super powers :3

Superheros kind of bother me because its the same bullshit over and over and over. Giving them a special power doesn't make them any different from the next group of superheros...

Peter - it's like this:

Batman isn't a "real" superhero, he is just a "hero." If I was super rich I would dress in black and put myself above the law for sure! But to be an actual "super"-hero... well, that takes a little extra. By that I mean you have to be a freak.

leo - no longer super

> Giving them a special power doesn't make them any different from the next group of superheros...

So super is now boring? Maybe it's time for...

Stupendousheros!

tim -

remember that song you played on the geeter a few years back leo at sheldongs, ya the single lone song. remember damnit!

ya what was it?

leo - geeter gone

Fleetwood Mac - Never going back again

http://www. ultimate-guitar.com/ tabs/f/fleetwood_mac /never_going_back_ag ain_tab.htm

(dunn o if those tabs are accurate, I got sheet music for it)

leo - goddamnit sheldon

Your code sucks.

Donkey dong.

sheldong - wooohoooo!

"You´re the stupidest character ever towelie!"ç

"I know."

screw code! apparantely I found a place to live in january!

man im going to hit the freakin tequila tonight!

the regular expressions will flow!

Adios!

tim -

sweeeeet you remembered

gooder song

Tebo -


It's a shame giving a shit can be sarcastically considered a super power. Acting must border on divinity.

Watch the original Batman (1966) starring Adam West et al. The dialogue, costumes and innuendo propels the experience beyond entertainment into a tear full world of uncontrollabe mirth.* Now that's a tag line.

* Opinion void to people incapable of appreciating Army of Darkness, Spaceballs or the idea that stupid can be funny. (If so, why are you at this site? BURN.)**

** Sheldon, I'm sorry. I take a lot of what you say seriousely and comment accordingly. For the sake of burninating it had to be done.***

*** Trodgor is quite the fellow.****

**** This has been a demonstration of Tebo's deranged tangential method of thinking. Thanks for staying with me. And you anthro types, I know full well your law probably forbids referencing footnote type things in other footnote type things. Your laws are unwelcome here.


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