The Dvorak Keyboard and the Inconvenience of Diversity

Yeah,it's a bogus title created to cause a stir. But anyways, the real story is about keyboards. (Yes, the following paragraphs of this post will get sorta technical, but it wouldn't hurt you to learn something so keep reading.) I was at work the other day when I saw a left handed person trying to use a keyboard shortcut. It looked like they were going to break their fingers off. Try to use your mouse with your left hand, and then go CTRL + C, CTRL + V with your right hand. It's pretty difficult and shows how much everything is designed for right handed people.

I already have much resentment of the keyboard - it is truly ill-designed. In my fury I have previously tried the Dvorak keyboard layout, amoung others. The Dvorak keyboard rocks. All the keys are where they should be, all the vowels grouped together on the middle row, right beside all the common consonants. I could type normal English with ease, and I also found I could write code faster. If you already type fast on a normal QWERTY keyboard, the dvorak keyboard wont as much increase you speed as much as it will lessen the number of weird acrobatics you have to do while you type. If you're scared of repetitive stress injuries, then using this key layout would be a good idea. In that case it would also be a good idea to stop using hammers with metal handles and spanking the monkey. At least not at the same time.

But after a few years of using Dvorak, I quit. Not because it wasnt the coolest thing ever, it was because most applications written, as well as most hardware setups, aren't Dvorak-friendly. All your keyboard shortcuts in Windows, while they still work, will be completely screwed up. ( Here's a big secret: CTRL+C isnt "Copy" because Copy starts with C - it's because its just so damn handy for a right handed typist. Is there a V in "Paste" ? ) So even though letters were as they should be for the English language, I wasn't as quick as I needed to be common commands that I need to use all the time. And as far as hardware setups go, its not that most computers can't use dvorak, its just that most computer users don't already use it. I had to constantly fix shit on someone else's computer, which would be using the old QWERTY layout. And that itself was enough stress on my brain. Switching key layouts is like switching the side of the road you are driving on. It can be done, and can be done successfully, but it just requires too much brainpower sometimes.

The situation would be entirely different if things like keyboard shortcuts were editable in Windows without some crazy modifications. (if there is an easy way to make copy anything other than Ctrl C, let me know) The left handed user could change their copy shortcut to Ctrl + M or something more realistic, and the Dvorak user could change theirs to Ctrl + J. Utopia.

But it wouldn't really be a perfect world, because the rest of it wouldn't have switched to Dvorak. Restricting user interface choice actually results in convenience for the majority. I see a lot of parallels between Windows, QWERTY, and English. All 3 things probably aren't the best solution, but the fact that everybody is already using them makes things easier for everyone.

Dvorak is basically the Esperanto of keyboards. Esperanto outlived its usefulness at its conception, and since most people aren't as nutty as I am, I don't predict the Dvorak keyboard will see much action beyond some specialized tasks.

Yet as other idealistic dreams die, you see a lot of people in the Linux world trying to make the utopian user interface. One that can do everything, and is infinitely configurable. But this is stupid. As an example, my roomate who I shall not name has the habit of tweaking KDE/Linux so badly that his computer barely usable by anybody but him. Now imagine that every monkey around the world had the power to do this. It's already bad enough that windows lets you change your cursors to raccoons.

Linux desktop coders should stop trying to champion perfect UI - what they should be doing is using everyone's familiarity with Windows UI to their advantage. They ought to copy it as much as they can without going to jail. Of course, if they don't care about growing a userbase, then they can just forget what I just said.

Anyways, for those that don't already know, here are the niftiest keyboard shortcuts in Windows:

WIN + E : Open Explorer File Manager
WIN + D : Show Desktop (if you use it, and you shouldn't)
WIN + R : Run Command
WIN + F : Find File
WIN + Pause : System Properties. Its what you punch when people ask you how fast your computer is.

Now, the simplest way to add a keyboard shortcut (well, sequence) to a file or program is to place a shortcut within the first level of the "Classic" themed start menu. (The "Luna" version is ugly, bulky and puts random crap in itself) As shown in the image, hitting "WIN" then "I" starts the web browser. (The web browser used is Firefox , go get it. Internet Explorer is full of security issues.) This system works extremely well, even if you forget the shortcut, the program is easily accessible by the mouse. 90% of the time there should be no need to go through the whole Start > Programs > Microsoft Blah > etc etc etc ordeal. Or just keep to your old routines. Not like you need any more free time anyways, cause you'd probably just piss it out the window writing a rant on your website.