The show is over. It ends here.
Many people see themselves as building a legacy. Being a part of a bigger story. Continuing to build an empire.
Not me. Not today. I am the final chapter.
I am not procreating. I refuse. This is the end of the line.
It is the world's greatest catastrophe, as design that spent countless years on the drawing board fails to improve itself. This is it. The Pinnacle of Human Form.
Evolution is over. Stopped dead. You're looking at the final revision. Darwin's Dream.
This disappointing news is a far cry from the energized days of the early 1980's when last great leap of human progress had finished baking.
The amoebae were elated. Cute little bastards.
Sadly, there will be no missing link to the next evolutionary leap. It won't happen. No incredibly smart superhuman race will scour the globe looking for my bones, wondering how the hell they could have got so smart while they were surrounded by apes.
It's a shame really. I've let the future down. It would seem to be an ungrateful act to not continue one's bloodline after all the effort that went into it. Humanity would suffer a massive setback that will put it thousands of years behind in development if not halt progress entirely.
But screw it. My genes are mine, no sharing allowed. No kids and no clones. There will not be another production release of yours truly.
Naturally, the paramecium are pissed.
This will be the greatest untold crime against humanity, as undoubtedly I've massacred thousands of future scientists, heroes and world leaders.
Oh well. I'll be selfish and let the rest of you populate the planet. I'll be long dead before your children, void of capable peers and squabbling over what resources are left, begin to wonder where humanity went wrong.
All this may sound like doomsday. Thats because it is. There are billions of horny humans with functional reproductive systems wandering the globe, searching for purpose with no real predators left. The past had wars, famine, disease and all those fun things. Now, we have medicine, plenty of food and we're all getting along. The future of humanity has never been so bleak.
To top it all off, there will be no future incarnations of myself to keep the rest of you misguided assholes in line. Sorry. They would have kicked even more ass than myself too.
Of course, all this could change with a nice pair of eyes and a few shots of tequila. Everything is fragile.
In the immortal words of Bob Barker, remember - spay or neuter your children!