It is almost certain that everybody who hasn't been living in a cave during the last decade has a vague idea of what instant messaging is. It is pretty self explanatory. Instant. Messages.
Back in the day I used ICQ a lot and found it extremely useful - I could talk to a number of people simultaneously in a manner which didn't demand 100% of my attention without being robbed by telecom companies.
Instant messaging has the potential to be a very useful tool.
But as they exist now, instant messengers suck.
All instant messengers are absolutely pathetic and it looks as if it will remain that way for quite some time.
Let's look our desired attributes and how the clients fare:
MSN Messenger
User Interface
Absolutely horrible is an understatement when describing the usability of MSN's official client.
Get MSN if you like:
Loads of advertisements behind every button
Confusing, disappearing menu bars à la Windows Media Player
Custom penis emoticons
File Transfer
Works most of the time, even behind firewalls. Except when it doesn't. Sometimes it would be faster to call up the person and yell hexadecimal at them : "Yes, Okay, Now F, A, 0, 1...". Points for effort though.
To top it off, once the carrier pigeon arrives and your file is complete, MSN decides it's a virus and deletes it for you. Try receiving an MP3 with some versions of MSN 6 or 7. MSN Messenger will delete the fucking file if you click its link to open it.
To summarize:
Deletes important files for you! Automatically!
Dog slow at random times for no apparent reason
Sending folders is impossible
Queueing files is impossible
Sending more than a handful of files is prohibitively clumsy
Clicking to accept each file will probably give you RSI
Message History
MSN just loves to put all messages in extremely verbose XML files. XML is fine, if you have an XSL stylesheet that is worth anything. But MSN doesn't come prepackaged with anything that useful. Viewing history in MSN is like pulling teeth, and one usually has to hack the stylesheet to get it to display in a sane manner.
Protocol
MSN doesn't care if software compatible with its network works on anything besides Microsoft platforms. This is by design, and nothing is stopping them from iteratively changing things to purposefully block other implementations of their protocol.
ICQ
User Interface
ICQ used to be the king shit of instant messengers but now the only use for this app would be a case study on how a bad interface can turf market share. Add annoying sounds and widgets that brought us back to clunky Win95 apps. Then came the Medusa inspired skins.
File Transfer
ICQ actually did file transfer very well. File transfer did require some router configuration though, which was a pain in the ass and not an option for many users.
Message History
The dumbest thing that could be done with data as trivial as message history is shove it in made-up data table formats. ICQ did this, and as a result message history was basically unreadable outside of ICQ unless you exported the records you wanted to text. Extreme pain in the ass, waste of resources and clumsy.
Protocol
The ICQ protocol has been implemented by a ton of third parties. ICQ still retains control over the protocol and all servers on the network however, meaning you're hooped if ICQ decides they don't like the client you're using down the road.
Google Talk
User Interface
It's simple and beautiful.
File Transfer
It's nonexistent.
Message History
Google Talk's "Off the record" functionality is interesting but easily subvertible. Storing the messages in your GMail inbox is useful because the information becomes available you are logged into. It is a pain in the ass that this information isn't easily available offline, though.
Protocol
Google Talk uses XMPP/Jabber, which is a protocol Google holds no special rights to. But don't believe in altruism just yet - Google most likely understood that they wouldn't get very far by promoting yet another proprietary network while implementing less features in their client.
So who is the big winner in all this mess? Nobody. We are all a bunch of losers when it comes to IM. Every client gets a big F- and the rest of us have to deal with the mess.
Years after its conception, the current options given by the IM world have all failed on their promise to bring simple communication over the internet to the masses. But would it even be possible to fix these software details and live in an instant messaging utopia? No.
Instant messaging is doomed to fail until it has the most important piece of the puzzle: ubiquity.
Why the fuck do you have a phone? Because everyone else does as well and you can phone all of them - even if they're on a different carrier!
This seems to be a simple concept, as are all the things discussed above, yet software engineers can't get their shit together.
Instant messengers need to be competing on the the quality of their clients and service instead of battling for a monopoly of communication. Forming a monopoly of an absolutely required resource is a complete waste of time in the long run. (under the assumption that the government knows anything about IM) If no one else, the EU will probably fine somebody for something.
IM in its current form is a total disaster. It's not an earthquake, tsunami, or flood but rather an abomination created by a decade of utter incompetence.
But let's all congratulate ourselves anyhow.
Comments...
Anon -
You have way too much time on your hands sheldong...
sheldong -
I thought you hated anonymous posting.
Merriman - Wasn't me
and I do
Anonymous - 4th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
kat - heh...
Theres a patch you can get rid of all of the adds and shit on MSN. I've never had a problem with the file transfers (its never deleted anything of mine) anddddd I don't keep message histories. So I like it :3
sheldong - patches
Yes, there are patches for MSN. I can reshack the program and take out the ads and things, or I can download the app from a third party that may or may not have a load of viruses in it.
You can also put racing stripes and a huge engine into a Datsun, but that doesn't make it a BMW.
Your patched version may not delete your stuff, but tons of people can verify that the authentic version has had that misfeature.
Messa ge history is a must.
James Bond : "I'm in this super secret private base and I've only managed to log in this stupid instant messenger app. The code to disable the bomb these bad guys made is 63452346345"
Stup id MI-6 Intern : "What was that? I closed the window"
James Bond : "Fuck! They're coming! The code was 35asdfkjxocvionsgakl send help"
tim -
all i can say, is wow.
god damn donger, you're like a mexican jumping bean. first icq was god of all, and you made sure everyone knew it. then it was msn, and icq was the devil. now irc is the new king shit, and both msn and icq are for retards right?
the only thing i can think of next, is because you recently got a phone, you'll soon realise that contrary to popular belief, it's the best thing to talk to people on. You'll then wonder why the hell it took you so long to get one, and quickly shoot down irc as a useless method.
Devon -
Hahaha. That Tim guy sure showed you! Sheldon is a fairweather messager! A hypocrite!
Devon -
and yes I meant to type "messager" instead of "messenger". It's a new word!
leo -
the dong has a point. (and a shaft, but that's another story)
Back in the day, ICQ was way better because MSN had shit all for features. ICQ had offline messages, a good user search, and decent file transfers.
Then MSN took over because after 18 rewrites of ICQ, they still couldn't design a good interface to save their lives. Plus MSN has smileys that looked better.
Now MSN has left their simple interface behind and are adding retarded features and ads left right and center. The client has gone from small and efficient to slow and full of misfeatures (nudge, automatic mp3 deleting, useless tabs, shared search, themes you can buy etc).
The problem is that everyone is still using it. Classic bait and switch. You wanna hit of this man? first one's free.
So now google talk is the one with the clean, fast interface. But don't think for a second that they won't pull the same thing as microsoft if they get popular. Google is an advertising company and as soon as they think they can get away with it, they'll slap some ads in there.
The only thing that would work is a network run by a company that doesn't survive on ad revenues. Skype is a good example. They make money by selling their VOIP service, so they are better off providing a clean client that the users will like than alienating people with ads.
Who needs a website, I'll just write articles in your comments.
sheldong - jumpin' around
yes, my opinion changes more often than my underwear in some seasons. But that is because options change even more frequently and if you don't change your mind about things then you're probably still pushing a plow around.
Mobile phones are fucking awesome for talking to a single person.
Mobile phones, IM, Wiki- and IRC-like products have the potential to create a communication utopia, however they fail in either expense, implementation or both.
I could rant just as long about telecom companies - it's for another day.
Merriman - msn
Sheldon's turned me. I hate msn more with each passing day. All hail our irc and cylon-phone overlords.
wop - OMG
thats all i have to say about that
leo - Hooray for SPAM!
Do you have something with not so much spam in it?
Merriman - Who let the tards out
durr, durr, durr
giggly -
Why all the drug sites? Does someone work for a pharmaceutical company???