The Greatest Video Games of All Time

After months of research and analysis (the reason I have not updated in so long) I have finally compiled a list of the best games ever made.

These are the best games of all time. This list will be added to as future games prove worthy of their addition.

Grand Theft Auto

Lumped into this choice are all the Grand Theft Auto games, from the original Grand Theft Auto to GTA San Andreas. They all kick ass.

The best thing about these games is that they are about 150 games all rolled up into a single package. Following the storyline and doing missions is completely optional. It is one of the few games that doesn't play like a long ass interactive movie. (Well, the most of the missions are movie-ish, but they don't stop you from doing something else)

GTA lets you do all the things you would go to jail for, and lets you see how far you can get before the cops kill you. For sane people, it reinforces what you can't do without the law eventually catching up with you. Yes, crazy people will play the game and then proceed to shoot people up. These people are the same type that would go absolutely apeshit with government conspiracy theories and try to cap the president after watching FOX News. Banning the game would just spoil the fun for everyone just because some people are morons.

The most recent controversy with the "Hot Coffee" mod is hilarious. It's not funny because of what it does, but more because it made a lot of prudes mad. A lot of maniacs like Hillary Clinton are worried that Rockstar Games may have intended that this information to ship with the game to be unlocked by the end user, mischievously subverting their precious game rating standards.

It seems they are afraid of video game companies purposely releasing games with hidden animated pornography in them. After the company was granted a G Rating for the game, it would release the key to the porn on the internet and become the coolest thing to squeaky kids that can't buy Playboy yet.

While organizations in charge of these rating systems have some grounds to be pissed off about the whole thing as it basically makes its labels as meaningless as their efforts. These rating organizations, however, aren't exactly up to speed about game modding. Have they never heard of Counter-Strike? It now claims to be the most popular shoot-em-up on the planet, and nobody is even trying to argue that. The game itself was a mod of Half-Life. I imagine Half-Life received a rating from one parent's group or another, while Counter-Strike was completely under the radar as people downloaded it for free off the internet. I remember their being a patch to make all the hostages in Counter-Strike nude, and Hillary Clinton was none the wiser. All this is ancient history, yet completely unknown to people would have loved to ban it - makes one wonder if they have used a computer in the last 10 years.

When people like Hillary Clinton and other puritanical americans try to get rid of the game, I can help but like it more. Nothing could be a better endorsement. Hillary Clinton is NOT a person you want endorsing your product. If Hillary likes you, you know you're one of the morons.

What Hillary also seems to have completely forgotten about is her husband's presidential term. The ruckus associated with him getting oral from a bunch of interns helped the United States collectively realize that sex happens more than some hidden pixelated tits in Grand Theft Auto ever could. I say 'a bunch of interns' because if we know of one, that means there were at least ten that didn't admit to getting a shot of Billy in their mouths.

Mrs. Clinton and associated parent's groups are going apeshit because of extra pornography being hidden within the game. Nevermind that the game lets you steal cars, kill prostitutes and empty an AK-47 into someone's grandmother - they were all fine with that. Now that some boobies have surfaced in the game, they all see reason to get the game taken off store shelves.

And, as Leo pointed out earlier, if your kid is smart enough to download a game modification from the internet, he is smart enough to download porn or steal it from a convenience store.

For bringing politics and denial to an arena she knows nothing about, no one as earned the label of dumb misguided self-important bitch as much as Hillary Clinton has.

Go buy Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas now. If it makes you nuts, you're nuts already.

Total Annihilation

When I saw this game back in '97, I had no idea what the hell was going on. The storyline made no sense, I didnt understand what the green dots flying around were doing, and didn't hear many good recommendations from anyone.

Now playing the game again, it has turned out to be the best real time strategy I have ever played. The storyline still doesn't make sense, but I don't care.

It has old school graphics, clumsy interface and primitive AI. It's got it all. I could not ask for more. It's amazing.

Liero

Simply the best shoot 'em up ever made.

Quake, Half-Life and Unreal Tournament combined could not compete with the fun of Liero. Nothing is more fun than having two blocky worms bleeding profusely and trying to kill each other with crazy weapons.

That's the list, for now.

All games made for the Atari also get honourable mentions.