The Last Bastion of Sanity

Welcome to the land of the sane and reasonable. For this, is the Anti-Martlet. The Anti-CNN. The Anti-WhateverTheShitEverybodyElseSays. Here is the last haven for the sensible. For everything you read here has been thought about more than twice.

How do we make these claims? This isn't The Martlet or CNN. Nor do I care if you read this. I'm as legit a news source as any major newspaper or television channel in the world. For I am the media. This is media. Except this is considerably less sensationalist.

For months at a time, I find myself at university without a TV or newspaper. Yet I don't miss a single bit of important news. For what could be summed up in a few minutes or even a few short sentences seems to take a few hours of news television on our local channels. And on CNN, well they seem to think there is enough newsworthy things that you don't actually need to know to fill up 24 hours of broadcasting. I'll assume you know what sensationalism is, and I also assume you know how it pertains to CNN specifically. Have you ever watched that channel longer than 10 seconds? They manage to repeat the same garbage 10000 times in an hour. Yet they try to make it sound more interesting every time.

But CNN is basically after viewers and money. Of course they are going to hype stuff and not say "and thats all you really need to know" because they want you to keep watching.

Logic says a free university newspaper would be a better source of information. But I find it just as void and uninformative as CNN. Take The Martlet for instance.
Here are some examples of topics the Martlet has made a big deal out of , and what they omitted to make it sound like news:
  • Voyeurism at UVic
    Apparantely some guy is wandering around UVic and taking pictures of thongs with his digital camera and posting it on his website (I swear it isn't me, really). The Martlet interviews a number of people who call it "sexual assault and voyeurism", "a breach of personal space and boundaries" and basically an invasion of privacy.

    What they omitted to make it sound like news: You wear some fucking clothes that are sort of civilized, and people won't take a picture of your ass crack! It isn't an invasion of privacy, it's a disease of stupidity that males in general benefit from. Go get yourself a see through white shirt and a lower back tattoo. I'll approve, but don't complain to me if some wanker takes a picture.

  • The Green Party
    The Green Party comes to town and rants about tuition being too high and how we should decriminalize all drugs. A lot of students listen.

    What they omitted to make it sound like news: Nobody else does. A desperate party diving for votes amoung the impressionable. Yay.


A book could be written about the stupid things published by these people, but I have better things to do. Like smash my skull with a rusty hammer or go get hooped up on all the hard drugs the Green Party would decriminalize.

In short, be thankful this is not sensationalism. There is nothing sensational about the news.

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