If you're the normal type of crazy, in your mind, your life sucks. Today sucked, yesterday sucked, and tomorrow will suck hard.
Your life sucks. Sure. Being alive is a pain in the ass, ain't it? The rest of your existence will be a tedious ordeal of uninteresting guano. You're doomed.
But maybe it doesn't have to be like that, maybe the reason your week was such a shithole was that your whole attitude is a pile of feces.
See, the whole reason that your shreddies are perpetually pissed in is simple : your expectations are too high.
Your expectations of yourself, other people and the world at large were way too fucking high. You have too many wants. You aren't really to blame, its human nature. You will always look for bigger and better things. Otherwise you'd be too bored, but don't waste time being depressed about it.
The deal is, once you achieve your greatest desire, you'll just find something else to lust over. If you drive yourself bananas or leap off bridges because you don't get what you want, it may sound like you lived through a Shakespearean play, but in reality you're doing a big grown up version of a kindergarten tantrum.
What can you really expect from life? Nothing more than rice and water. It's the basics. All you really need for sustenance. Might want to get some more foods in there for a real balanced diet, but whatever. Rice is a staple food of billions, and no matter how badly some wanker wants to sell you the latest energy drink, you will not be able to find a better drink than normal, uncarbonated water. (Stay away from Europe - they carbonate everything.) Yep. Some food and water are all you actually need, therefore the only thing you should expect.
After your food and water, you can shut the fuck up in a big barrell of satisfaction, because you are one of the most fortunate on earth.
The only reason your life sucked in the first place is because you were being an asshole of decadence, chasing after the newest vehicle, IKEA sofa, widescreen television or "true love". Face it, this is just bullshit rainbows that people chase because they were too well fed.
Starve a few people for a while, and their lives won't suck because they don't get enough recognition from their peers. Their lives won't suck because they don't get enough attention from the opposite sex. Their lives won't suck because they failed out of school. Their lives will suck because they are starving and might die. Add up the people around the world that are actually sick or starving, and whatever your issue is doesn't matter whatsoever.
Yes, your life sucks. Let it suck more, for all I care.
Comments...
Devon -
Bad day, Sheldon?
sheldong - well, yeah
Yeah, I've had a shitload of bad days,
but I think it was all over basically trivial bullshit.
Things that could cause a bad day:
- programs not compiling right
- missing tv shows
- girl next door not deciding to randomly jump me
- my dictatorship not being in place already
But when I thought about it, I eat like a king, I drink like a fish, everything else is small potatoes.
Potatoes are fucking awesome, too.
leo - Zen Sheldong
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sheldong - BS for everyone!
Yeah, I seriously doubt I'm going to run out of BS in my lifetime.
The goal is to publish more words than all the books of the bible combined. Well, the goal, as of, right now.
Then, they might put condensed versions of my scripture in hotel rooms.
That would be wicked.
leo - distribution
Sheldon, the people to talk to about getting your BS distributed would be these guys: [Link]
They distribute one million copies of the bible every week.
I'm sure they won't mind mixing in a couple of your compilations.
tim - dong
what you failed to include in your article is that society has gone so far off track that all of those things you listed as being completely irrelevant are actually things that would further your standing in society. yes, those things aren't necessarily needed, but since society says they are, one person not acknowledging them is only going to put them lower in the food chain. for example, people ARE using those energy drinks, and are therefore ahead of everyone else in the race for uber power. if you fail to keep up, and drink your shitty un-carbonated water, then even though you may feel good about yourself not being sucked into the mass of bullshit that society sucks out of us everyday, you're still going to be laughed at by the peanut gallery. compile that shit right, you get your raise, therefore getting your big ass tv to watch your tv shows that you will never miss because you have the power to pause live tv, luring the girl next door to come jump your uber ass because you're so rich and powerful, completing your existence...
:) - so..
the question is, do you really want that girl that is only attracted to you because you are rich and powerful?
I think I speak for most of the penis-wielding population when I say: YUP.
sheldong - yeah, pretty much
that comment was insanely accurate, society in general is just stupidity en masse. it makes good topics for articles.
most people are basically apes beating their chests or peacocks ruffling their feathers. nothing more.
Steve - actually
Actually, I want that girl that's attracted to me because she's blind, and trusting. Mute wouldn't hurt, either.
anonymous -
don't forget in a wheelchair!
Steve - wheelchair ...
Wheelchair girls are too clingy. How am I supposed to cheat on her if I have to wheel her around everywhere?
anonymous -
what the hell do you mean? cheating would be easier!